Dear Dr. Betty,

Upon graduating from college five years ago, my son enjoyed a high-powered career with a large corporation.  He recently lost his job when his company downsized. This loss has given him an opportunity to think about his future. He is tired of the fast-paced, super competitive lifestyle and wants to simplify his life. My husband wants him to look for job in the field he prepared for in college. I am supportive of him trying something different so that he can get off of the fast track. What are your thoughts on this?

Voluntary Simplicity Advocate

Dear Advocate,

More people than ever are realizing that quality of life is more important than the pursuit of material goods.  Priorities are changing as we become more aware of our carbon footprint, need for stress reduction, our desire to spend time with family and friends and the enormous expense of credit and debt. Many people are trying to build lives in which they cut back on obsessive working to create lives that are more fulfilling, serene and happy.

The fact that your son is willing to take the risk of changing his life course and stepping out of conventional roles shows maturity. Your willingness to provide a place for him to express and explore these ideas shows real support and caring. Your husband’s desire for your son to get ahead in his chosen field is understandable. The average man of the baby boom generation was raised to believe that his number one role in life was to earn as much money as possible. The identity of many people is still tied to the type and size of car they drive and the height of the corporate ladder they have climbed.

I recommend that you sit down and have a chat with your son to see what is on his mind. He can earn a good living but neither at his expense nor that of his loved ones or our world.

Good resources to consult about living a simpler life style are: Utne Reader Magazine, “Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence” by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin, “Simplify Your Life, 100s of Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy the Things That Really Matter” by Elaine St James, and Duane Elgin’s “Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That Is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich ”

My best to you and your family,

Betty Frain, Ph.D. MFT