Dear Dr. Betty,

When our family gathered for Easter dinner, we got involved in a heated discussion about the problems facing our grown sons.  My wealthy, childless, single brother said he felt they are slackers who have been spoiled and doted on so much that they are unable to find or keep work after gaining a college education.  Essentially, he said they are not trying hard enough to become independent.

My husband defended our children; saying he believes they are hard workers, as shown by the fact they graduated with honors while working part time. I remarked that the meltdown of the economy has put roadblocks in their path to find full time work that pays a living wage.

My sons were very upset and began reciting a laundry list of ways our generation negatively affected life here in America, but globally as well. One son is angry that politicians have sold out to the corporations that have destroyed our environment while creating a housing crisis and shrinking the middle class.  Our second son is furious about the fear-mongering and racism that he witnesses on a daily basis coming from the media conglomerates.

Living meaningful lives takes priority over the accumulation of wealth. They claim they are a part of Generation M and seeking solutions through innovation for the numerous necessary changes.  Can you help me understand what generation M is?  Are they just being rebellious? What is going on? 

Confused in Kentucky

Dear Confused,

Generation M is the age group that grew up during the rise of new forms of “M”edia:  the Internet, iPods, social media (like MySpace), YouTube, and cell phones.  Because of these technologies, many young adults are aware of the global environmental issues related to climate change, what caused the financial meltdown, the ramifications of ongoing wars, and the issues surrounding human rights, health care, and social justice.

The M also stands for creating a “m”ovement for change, and finding “m”eaning in life.  This group of young adults has grown up in an educational system that required community service to graduate from high school. They embrace diversity much more than our generation ever has. Young people today are setting different priorities than those we set, and are looking for something different.  Perhaps that is rebellious, but I prefer to look at it as taking part in necessary change.

Millions of young people are rightfully frustrated by the difficulties of the job market, student debt, and how the cost of living has spiraled out of control.  There is a shared understanding that more professionals have been educated than there are jobs available and they feel duped.  They are longing for independence, freedom, shared prosperity and happiness, not only for themselves, but for everyone.

 Twenty-year-olds I’ve talked to, tell me that they are in search of democracy and a country that is not run by and for corporations.  They are angry about the privatization of their schools, the military, hospitals and the corruption and lack of responsibility that these private companies show when they destroy lives. 

I am in daily contact with college students and young people in the military. They fear Afghanistan will be a repeat of Viet Nam and are deeply concerned that both money and lives will be wasted there.

They don’t want to be passive and sit by while the middle class is destroyed. They are angry and don’t want their tax dollars to go for bail-outs of banks and corporations that are “too large to fail,” nor for expensive wars, coal, levee and oil accidents.  They believe companies that kill people and livelihoods should be held accountable and not be let off the hook by complicated and drawn out court cases brought by corporate lawyers.

This age group seeks a sustainable future, and fair elections. They know that Americans are capable of amazing things and are willing to work to find solutions to the ongoing economic, social and environmental crisis.  The twenty-year-olds I meet are not slackers, spoiled, or lazy.

Many twenty and thirty–year-olds are longing for community and meaning.  They are stressed by increasing violence, hypocrisy, divisiveness, and want to work to see the world humanized for the better. 

I see youthful activism growing on the net and in neighborhoods.  Their conversations are filled with vision and possibilities for the future, a movement away from the negative aspects of corporate capitalism to a saner, more honest, respectful, healthy life for all.

A young lady I recently talked to reminded me that 535 people in the congress and senate represent 300 million people and how 80% of the forests and 90% of the fish on earth are gone.  She demanded to know how we let that happen. 

I hear the rage and disappointment of this generation every day.  Young men in the military tell me how depressed they are about civilians being killed in war zones.  They don’t want to respond to crisis and trauma by going shopping because they know that rampant consumerism is not a solution and besides they are already in debt.

There is a shift happening now across our global village.  It’s composed of many movements that are just beginning and gathering steam.  For example, the Peace Corps has more volunteers now than ever in 30 years (median age is 25.)  People volunteering for Teach America (they serve in rural and underserved urban areas) tripled since the year 2000.  Many 20 and 30-somethings do plan to leave this world a better place than they found it.  Young people are showing how smart and resilient they are.  I believe they’re going to change the rules and institute new limits and boundaries necessary for the well being of all not just a few privileged people in power.  

You can be proud that your sons hold deep personal values, are agents of change and have the character and courage to speak up and to search for meaning.  I imagine that they are educated and compassionate young men who will need your support as they work hard to deal with the challenges we have unintentionally created.  What they are doing is vital to our healthy growth, development and survival. I see them as leaders of tomorrow and they are to be commended.

I like what Marian Wright Edelman, founder of the Children’s Defense Fund has to say. “If you don’t like the way the world is, you change it.  You have an obligation to change it.  You just do it one step at a time.”

I hope that your sons have the opportunity to be part of that change and that their uncle will become more open minded as a result of seeing their impact.

My best to you.

Dr. Betty