Betty Frain has been a Marriage and Family Therapist for 30 years, with special expertise in family dynamics and recovery from trauma. In addition to writing for 50+Fabulous, Betty is in private practice in Santa Rosa, California. She has joined with Gail Galette, MFT and Tawny Martin, MFT to form The Adult, Child Therapy Center of the North Bay. She also conducts family weekends to support parents and their grown children as they move through impasses and set new goals for family life.

Dr. Frain was called to New York City to be part of the Critical Incident Stress Debriefing Team to counsel trauma victims in the aftermath of the 9/11 attack. She currently was called to work as a civilian consultant with the military to counsel children and family members traumatized by loved-ones deployment to Iraq and Afghanistan.

Based on their book, Becoming a Wise Parent for Your Grown Child: How to Give Love and Support Without Meddling, Betty and her co-author Eileen Clegg, were interviewed for the DVD of the hit movie Failure to Launch, starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey. Their work has also appeared in numerous print media. Betty and Eileen are currently working on a new book about human resilience.

She consulted in the development of a game for fathers and daughters called: Communication by Mindamics (available at

A frequent speaker, she has given presentations and workshops nationwide. She is a member of both the California and the American Associations of Marriage and Family Therapists.

Betty lives in California's Sonoma County and is a single parent of grown children who are thriving in their individual lives.


Betty's Columns

Get Fabulous Energy for a Fabulous Life!

August 15th, 2011

Get Fabulous Energy for a Fabulous Life!

Independence vs. Fear

July 20th, 2011

When kids are overprotective, both of their own families AND you!

What to do When Your Life Melts Down

June 5th, 2011

How you can get beyond the catastrophes of life!

Take Your Power Back!

April 3rd, 2011

Has your self esteem taken a hit? 6 ways to take back your power!

Healing Your Family: Reaching Out to Adult Children of Divorce

March 8th, 2011

Whether your own or your step children, divorce can make healthy family relationships challenging. Here are some ways to help in the healing process.

You're Movin' On and He's Moving Home?

February 1st, 2011

Dr. Betty answers the question: When you finally get to enjoy living in your quiet house alone what do you do when your grown children want to move back home?

Empowering Grown Children to Leave The Nest

January 9th, 2011

It has become common today for 24-30+ year olds to have difficulty launching themselves into their own independent lives. Often, the most loving of parents have unwittingly nurtured this situation by offering too much help. How can we empower our kids to move on?

Share Your Appreciation with Your Kids

December 12th, 2010

Share Your Appreciation with Your Kids: Here's How!

Reconnecting Through Rituals

November 6th, 2010

Dr. Betty answers the question: When my children were little, I wasn't emotionally available to them because of a demanding job and being overwhelmed as a single mom. Now my, 28 year-old, son is too busy to see me. I feel a big gap between us. How can I connect with him and build our family ties?

Fashion Conscious Already

October 7th, 2010

Our girls are under siege from the media to grow up way too fast. What can you do?

Great Ideas to Reconnect with your Family

September 6th, 2010

The best ideas yet for a multi-generational, inexpensive, unplugged, best time of your lives, fun time with family and friends!

When our Children are Injured in War

June 30th, 2010

Is your child, or a friend's, a victim of a brain injury from military service?

Angry: Your Kid's Perspective

June 6th, 2010

Want to know what your kids and grandkids are angry about? You won't want to miss this!

I Want to Move to a Tropical Island: The Kids Object

May 1st, 2010

Dream of running away to a tropical island? Do you think your kids would pitch a fit? Would you feel totally self-centered? Dr. Betty shares some insights you will not want to miss!

You Deserve a Trophy! Your Kids are Fully Capable

April 7th, 2010

What is the great part of finally, really letting your great kids live their own lives.

Teaching Kids Positive Action

March 6th, 2010

How to help your kids and grandkids funnel their frustration with our global mess and empower them to make positive changes here at home and abroad.

How Can I Make-up with my Daughter's Husband

February 4th, 2010

Do you need to make friends with a family member's or friend's spouse who has treated a loved one poorly but has made significant changes in their own lives to enable them to now treat your loved one well? Our wise Dr. Betty tackles this complex issue.

Planning to Improve Family Dynamics in 2010

January 6th, 2010

Is a loved one estranged? Dr. Betty shares many different ways to heal and reconnect.

Meaningful Holiday Gifts

November 30th, 2009

Dr. Betty shares great ideas for more personal, meaningful, fun and less expensive holiday gifts.

A Woman's Story: She loses her business and discovers an amazing new life!

November 6th, 2009

You can do work you love…against all odds!

Tools You Need to Face Down Fear

October 5th, 2009

If anything about your world scares you right now, do not miss Betty's column this month! Sage advice from one of our nation's best.

Are the kids moving back home?

September 6th, 2009

Are the kids moving back home…with their kids? How to stay sane and maintain your own space!

My child is throwing away his future!!

July 31st, 2009

You've just spent a fortune on your child's education. Yet, they've made what you consider a really poor choice about their new career. What about their future?

Time to Dust Off Your Own Dreams

July 6th, 2009

When the kids take off for parts unknown, it may be time to dust off your own dreams

Is procrastination negatively affecting your children?

June 5th, 2009

Is procrastination negatively affecting your children?

What to do BEFORE the Kids Move Back In

May 6th, 2009

Are you grappling with the decision of whether to invite your adult children and their family to live with you until they get back on their fee? If so, better read with Dr. Betty has to say!

Sleepless & Stressed?

April 1st, 2009

Are you at the end of your rope because of family commitments? Betty share what you need to do to renew and reinvigorate.

The Courage to be Different

March 4th, 2009

Sometimes "living your vision" meets with raised eyebrows and negativity from those we love. Dr. Betty shares her wisdom.

Love is an Act of Faith

February 7th, 2009

Losing a child is devastating to the entire family and everyone grieves in their own unique way. Dr. Betty shares insights into this difficult time.

How to help your kids through a money crunch!

January 5th, 2009

How to help your kids through a money crunch! Parenting Adult Children through Tough Economic Times

Help! My Self-Esteem Has Taken a Dive

November 4th, 2008

When your self-esteem takes a dive at mid-life, there IS something you can do about it!

Parenting: Perfectionist Mom Fears for Son

October 3rd, 2008

OK, so you fear you taught your kids to be perfectionists. There IS something you can do now to help, even if they are all grown up!

My Children Worry about Me as I Redesign My Life

August 4th, 2008

What if your kids think you are going nuts as you re-design your life?

How to Help with Post-graduation Fears

July 6th, 2008

We live in such uncertain times with the shaky economy, high gas prices, exorbitant credit card fees, and high unemployment. What advice can we give our kids as they graduate to start their own lives?

Advising Kids about Careers

June 6th, 2008

What do you do when your child questions their career choice.

Lifelong Depression Robs Mother of Ability to Nurture

May 5th, 2008

Has your own depression adversely affected your children's lives? Dr. Betty gives insight into this troubling problem.

Boomer Parent Tackles Whether Travel vs. College is Best for their Kids

April 3rd, 2008

What to do when your high school graduate wants to defer college and travel.

Reclaim Your Nest!

March 3rd, 2008

My 30 year-old daughter and her two young children moved in with me after a rather traumatic divorce. They have been living here for almost a year and a half. I have been glad to help out, but now I feel exasperated. I need my peace and privacy back.

It's Tougher for Our Kids Today: How You Can Help

October 1st, 2007

Dr. Betty answers the question: I have read in various magazines that this generation of young people has an "entitlement syndrome" and that they are refusing to grow up, but I believe that our 20 and 30 year olds have it harder than we did when we were striking out on our own. Do you have any suggestions or thoughts on this issue?

Teaching Kids & Grands: Their Talent and Privilege Can Positively Impact Others' Lives

September 1st, 2007

Dr. Betty answers the question: My grown children have been brought up in affluence. I fear that I have spoiled them. Do you have some ideas on how we can educate them about the importance of giving back to our communities and to help those less fortunate?

Improving Relationships with Adult Children of Divorce

July 1st, 2007

Dr. Betty addresses the troubling issue of reestablishing relationships with adult children of divorce.

Building Family Relationships

June 1st, 2007

Dr. Betty answers the question: We are planning a family reunion this summer and want it to be a memorable event that will increase our family connection. We had a retreat three years ago that did not increase our bond due to the interference of cell phones, computers and computer games. Do you have some tips for our family?

Why Won't Grown Kids Leave?

April 1st, 2007

The phenomenon of grown children living at home through their 20s, 30s and beyond has become so commonplace it is now part of pop culture with films such as "Failure to Launch" and the sitcom "Free Ride."





Dr. Betty Frain - Santa Rosa, CA. - 707.292.3559